“It’s got brilliant white sand, umbrella-shaped trees for shade, clean clear water, a few little waves here and there to make it interesting, dozens of great little beachside cafes and bars, and enough local life to remind you that you are indeed in Bali.”
That’s how my pocket-sized Frommer’s guidebook describes one of the many beautiful beaches that encircle the popular Indonesian island. Sounds like paradise, and for many people it is. Tourists from around the globe flock to Bali to soak up the tropical sun on scores of postcard-perfect beaches. It’s just not for me.
I’ve been in Bali for a month now, and have yet to log an hour of beach time. Frankly, I find the whole “drop-and-flop” style beach holiday boring. Not to mention my skin has the colouring of a marshmallow and it takes to the sun much like those fluffy white treats take to a campfire. Sun and sand holidays are just not my thing, and that’s okay with me.
I’m happiest when actively exploring the local culture, art, music, architecture and natural landscapes of a destination. Lucky for me, Bali has a wealth of these assets too. Here, paradise for me is discovering a ruined temple while trekking through the rice fields, immersing myself in a traditional religious ceremony, or striking up a conversation with some locals at a roadside food stall.
Travel is a highly personal experience. What is holiday bliss to me may sound like a travel nightmare to you. So to get the most pleasure out of your own holiday, it makes sense to base your travel choices – on everything from where to stay, to where to eat, to what to do – on how happy you expect these experiences will make you feel, in both the short and long-term.
However, not all types of experiences deliver the same happiness bang for your buck. According to the book Happy Money: The Science of Smarter Spending, by Elizabeth Dunn and Michael Norton, four kinds of experiences are especially good at making us happy. Doing more of these things during your next trip should make your travels, well, happier.
Do things that align with your sense of self
In my mind’s eye, or perhaps over-inflated ego, I like to think of myself as a mild-mannered version of Indiana Jones when I travel. And so, when choosing between alternative travel experiences, it helps to think: What would Indy do?
Have a drink at a glitzy hotel bar flooded with foreigners, or mingle with locals at a tucked away Shisha café? Watch a well-orchestrated cultural show staged for tourists, or go to a small village temple for a traditional water blessing? Take an air-conditioned tour bus to see all the “must-see” attractions listed in my guidebook, or hire a local to take me on an impromptu trek through the jungle? Tapping into my inner Indiana Jones makes these decisions easy.
Okay, I’m no Harrison Ford and I’m not on a life-threatening quest for a lost artifact, but thinking like Indy helps to align my travel decisions with my (idealized) sense of self – a globetrotting explorer on the hunt for authentic and unique experiences. From a happiness perspective, it turns out to be a good way to think.
According to Happy Money, experiences provide more happiness when they are tightly linked to your sense of who you are, or want to be. So whether you fashion yourself after Marco Polo or Carrie Bradshaw, you’ll get more happiness out of your holiday if you do things that align with your sense of self, even if it’s a highly romanticized version of you.
Foster connections with others
All other things being equal, experiences tend to be more satisfying when they make us feel connected to other people. If you’re travelling with others, this social connection is built-in: Almost all your experiences are shared with your travel partners. Not only does the feeling of being connected give a blissful boost in the moment, but the relationships with your travel mates will likely grow and deepen which can provide a happiness windfall for years to come.
Fostering social connections is not so easy when you travel solo. It can be lonely out on the road, and long stretches of isolation can dampen the pleasure of travel. There is a silver lining, however: It is often easier to connect with other travellers or with locals when travelling alone. Since you don’t have the comfy social safety net of travel mates, you are forced to get out there and meet new people.
Whether you go it alone or with others, your travel choices can help make it easier to cultivate more connections along the way. For example, consider staying at a hostel or pension where you can easily meet other travellers, or at a home stay where you can interact with a host family; seek out restaurants and cafes with communal seating areas; or take part in group activities, like cycling tours or cooking classes, where part of the fun is sharing the experience with others.
One of the best things about travel is the constant opportunity to meet people from around the world. Be deliberate about fostering these connections: You’ll be happier for it.
Make memorable stories
“Apparently, the stuff sells for $50 a cup in places like New York and London and, get this, it’s made with cat poop!” I say to my friend, who’s sitting across the table at our favourite coffee shop back home. At least that’s how I envision the story beginning.
Kopi Luwak – as it’s called in Indonesia – is coffee made using coffee beans that are harvested from the fecal matter of the Asian Palm Civet, a nocturnal animal native to Southeast Asia. The civet kind of looks like a cat, but technically isn’t one.
Civets like to eat the flesh of ripe coffee cherries, but their stomachs cannot digest the beans inside. Before the coffee bean is passed, the enzymes in the civet’s digestive track penetrate the surface of the bean and significantly alter its chemical composition. It turns out that coffee made from the pooped beans is delicious, prized by gourmet java aficionados for its aroma and flavour.
One of the most expensive coffees in the world, civet coffee can sell for upwards of $50 a cup in chic cafes around the world. Thankfully, I only had to shell out 50,000 rupiah (a little less than $5) to sample a cup at a small coffee plantation in rural Bali. Taken straight black, Kopi Luwak is smooth and sweet, with a hint of chocolaty flavour. It’s noticeably less bitter than a typical cup of coffee and, according to our server, has more protein and less caffeine than regular coffee. As with “low alcohol” beer, however, I’m not convinced that “less caffeine” is a selling point.
I’m not even home yet, and I can already imagine telling the story about drinking “cat poop” coffee to several of my java-loving friends. Though I might gross out a few of them, this modest five-dollar experience is sure to deliver a big happiness payday because of the added pleasure that comes from sharing the story with others. As Dunn and Norton explain, experiences can deliver long-lasting happiness when they make for memorable stories that you’ll enjoy retelling time and again.
Look for unique opportunities
“Do you want to attend a public cremation ceremony on Friday?” It’s the first and probably the last time I will ever be asked this question. How could I say no?
In Balinese Hindu culture, cremation is an important rite of passage in the cycle of life as it’s believed to release the soul from the body so it can reincarnate. In the ceremony, bones from the deceased are placed in sarcophagi shaped like mythical animals, and then burned after a long and high-spirited procession. Considered a joyous occasion for families who are helping their loved ones in the journey to the next life, the ritual involves lots of music and special offerings given on behalf of the deceased.
Witnessing the elaborate ceremony was priceless, and incomparable to anything else I’ve done on this trip or any other. It’s fair to say the experience will be a defining moment of my time in Bali, and will shape my memory of this holiday years from now.
As it’s put in Happy Money, unique experiences are so satisfying because they’re not easily comparable with other available options for your time and money. Not to say the more traditional things listed in your guidebook should be ignored. These are popular for a reason. However, the most satisfying experiences – the ones that stand out in your memory – tend to be the unique ones.
Whether you’re planning a three-day getaway to Las Vegas or a three-month backpacking trip to South America, plan to do something out-of-the-ordinary and be open to new opportunities that take you off the beaten track. These experiences provide some of the most fertile ground for happiness to bloom.